What happened to common decency and honor?

Deadspin posted this article today about the jury-less trial for two Ohio high school football players accused of raping a teenaged girl who was drunk.

The defense argues the girl was not too intoxicated to consent to sex, and there is a disturbing photo of this girl half-clothed being carried by two young men by her ankles and wrists which the defense argues isn't as bad as it looks.

I'm so appalled and disturbed by this on so many levels.

1. Even if the photo isn't as bad as it looks, it looks horrifying. So, that's still a pretty deep level of awful.
2. It is disgusting and pathetic to sleep with a woman who is even slightly incapacitated, regardless of whether or not a court decides this girl was "too incapacitated" to consent to sex. 
3. Why do young people feel the need to drink this much? Since when did binge drinking to the point of endless vomiting and blacking out become the cool thing to do on Friday and Saturday nights?
4. Why did no one else do anything? I would never stand by and watch someone being abused without stepping in. Call the cops. Call her parents. Call your own parents. But do something!

I was no angel as a teenager. I drank far before I was of legal drinking age. But nausea, vomiting, blacking out and the inevitable hangover were never my ultimate goal. At what point did this become a cool ritual amongst young people?

Further, at what point are we going to start demanding more of young men? I thought the point of dating and courtship was to get a girl to actually want to be with you, not force yourself on her because she's too drunk to say no. I guess young men these days have such low self esteem that they don't think any girl would want them if she's sober and thinking clearly.

And, spare me the argument that the girl asked for it because she was too drunk. She did make a poor choice, but at some point I would like to see a man actually be a man and act with integrity - just because a girl is incapacitated and would probably "let" you sleep with her doesn't mean you should or that you have to!

Have some integrity, some honor and some respect. At worst, you will avoid being accused of rape. At best, you will be a respectable, honorable and decent man.

As for those teenaged boys in Ohio, they disgust me. I would like to know where their parents were and how they feel about their sons' behavior. How does it feel? You made it with a girl you had to get too drunk to say no for fear she'd reject you. What cowards.

SI's Pete Thamel illustrates everything wrong with journalism today

I'm so thoroughly disgusted with all this Manti Te'o/Notre Dame/fake girlfriend garbage today. I read through Sports Illustrated's Pete Thamel's article with the full transcript of his interview with Te'o.

What disturbs me most is that, despite red flags, Thamel proceeded with the story and just "left things out" of his article if he couldn't corroborate certain facts.

I realize this isn't Watergate, and we aren't dealing with a matter of national security. But, most people in this country get their "news" and "facts" from "journalists" such as Pete Thamel. If we can't rely on them to do their actual jobs, which is to report FACTS, not just some interesting story, then we are in real trouble.

(By the way, Thamel has won a Pulitzer Prize and also writes for The New York Times. Hasn't the Times already had enough of bad reporting and/or plagiarism?)

Some of the "facts" that Thamel couldn't corroborate:

• Whether the alleged girlfriend even attended Stanford, much less graduated.
• No funeral notices or obituaries after her alleged death.
• No record of a car accident or drunk driving arrest after her supposed accident.

If Thamel had written this piece for my University of Florida basic reporting class, that's three "fatal errors" right there. (Fatal errors were actually factual errors, but we lost 50 points for each. One factual error was the difference in passing or failing the assignment.)

Pete Thamel, you would have just earned a -50 on this assignment if you had been a college student.

The fact that Sports Illustrated is even allowing this guy to try and justify his work is beyond me. At this point, TMZ is looking far more reputable and legit than Sports Illustrated.

But, let this be proof for you, folks: do not just take as fact anything you see in/hear on the news or read on the Internet. You will look like a fool!

Thoughts on senseless violence at Connecticut school

When I first saw a news headline about the shootings at Newtown, Connecticut, school Sandy Hook Elementary, there were no fatalities reported. I had hoped it was just something isolated and not a repeat mass killing like those at Columbine High School, Virginia Tech or the Colorado movie theater.

Sadly, that was not the case, and I learned within an hour or so that at least 18 children were murdered and at least eight adults.

I appreciated the president's comments saying that today is not the day to begin political discussions about policy, and I agree. This is a day for respect to and prayer for those killed and their families.

But many people have commented how children shouldn't be scared to go to school, children should be safe in school, and parents shouldn't be fearful of sending their kids to school.

What I take from today is that life is brief. Not one of us is guaranteed tomorrow, and so we should make the most of today. We should tell people we love that we love them. We should also act toward those we love with love and respect. We should make more efforts to enjoy time spent with our loved ones, because they may be gone tomorrow.

They may be gone due to natural causes, a car accident, a crime, an illness, a natural disaster or some other terrible occurrence. But not one of us is immortal. Some of us will lose parents; others will lose children. Some will lose siblings or spouses or best friends. But at some point, for every one of us, life ends.

I am not saying we shouldn't take reasonable precautions and security measures. I lock my doors. I avoid dark, unpopulated areas alone. I park in well-lit areas or walk with a friend. I check in to let people know where I will be. I see the doctor regularly.

But, as terrible as this tragedy is, I feel the healthiest response is to continue living. After 9/11, I still took vacations via flying. After the Colorado shooting, I didn't stop going to the movies. We deal with what life throws at us, and we adapt. We grieve those who are lost, and then we move forward.

We can't live our lives in fear of death. We can't let ourselves be consumed with thoughts of how to stop death. We spend so much time focusing on how to prevent death, that many of us forget to actually live.

Education starts in the home

I've become more and more frustrated by the sheer number of people who can't differentiate between your and you're and other simple issues in writing. (It's always "you're welcome," as in you are welcome, NOT "your welcome!")

I think there are two reasons why both adults and young people cannot follow simple rules of grammar and punctuation or learn to spell correctly.

1. People are lazy and do not care about rules.
2. People do not generally read much.

Today, I'm addressing No. 2.

I thank God every day that I had family who read to me and encouraged me to read and also that I grew up in a time where the television wasn't my babysitter.

I didn't have a computer until (I think) the 7th or 8th grade, and so my activities as a kid involved swimming, riding bicycles, playing some sort of make-believe and reading books. Television was reserved for Saturday morning cartoons, The Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday nights, the evening news (only a half hour or less) and days when I stayed home sick from school.

My aunt, an elementary school teacher, spent summers reading with me and teaching me to write and spell. I used to bug my mom to go to Waldenbooks (remember those?), and she would be frustrated because I'd read the entire book she bought me in three hours.

In any event, a majority of my childhood, teen and young adult years were spent reading and writing, so I got lots of practice and exposure.

Many children do not have this luxury, and so they don't grow up with a love of reading. Now, all their communication is via social networking and email, and they are exposed to bad spelling and grammatical errors all the time. If you always see "your welcome," at some point you're going to think that's right!

No one should expect that a child who hasn't done any sort of reading in the home will learn everything expected of him/her once in a classroom. Education requires formal schooling, of course, but must have a holistic approach starting in the home and with the parents. And parents need not have formal education to instill a love of learning in their children!

If you have kids, please take the time to read to them and with them. Resist the urge to let the TV be a babysitter! You will give them an advantage out of the gate, before they even step into a school, and help guarantee a better future for them and everyone.

Insecurity? Jealousy? Think again.

As most of you know, big news this week is Katherine Webb, the girlfriend of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron. She made headlines after ESPN commentators Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit overemphasized her physical appearance during the BCS National Championship Game, which then prompted an apology (unneeded, in my opinion) from ESPN.

I've long been irritated and frustrated by the state of American society in which men (and even women, in many cases) seem to value physical beauty over all else.

In the world of sports reporting, for example, there are many qualified female sideline reporters and anchors. Two of my personal favorites are Michelle Tafoya and Tracy Wolfson. Both, in my opinion, do an excellent job in gathering important, relevant information and interviews. They are, in my view anyway, attractive women who also act and dress professionally. I expect to see them in professional, attractive and flattering attire.

On the other hand, you have women like Erin Andrews. Don't get me wrong - I think Erin Andrews did a decent job as a sideline reporter. But she also seems to go out of her way to emphasize her appearance by dressing to highlight her physical assets. There have been articles commenting on the nature of her attire, for example, and I often expect her to wear more form-fitting and revealing clothes.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have someone like Holly Rowe. I frequently see and hear people attack her appearance and state she shouldn't even be allowed to be a television reporter, regardless of her actual ability to do the job well.

Now, who is better known in sports reporting and moving up the ladder? (It's not a rhetorical question, and the answer is obviously Erin Andrews.)

Back to Ms. Webb. I don't blame her for what happened. She was just in the stands with her boyfriend's family supporting his endeavors. (I do question how an Auburn grad could wear a Bama shirt, but that's a whole separate blog post!)

The events got me into major discussions with several people, both male and female. I strongly believe that many very beautiful women attach themselves to high profile boyfriends/spouses because of the notoriety and wealth that comes along with it. Webb is a former (maybe current?) pageant girl and aspiring model.

Guess what came out this week? After the attention she received, it's now reported Webb will be shooting with Sports Illustrated for its swimsuit issue. How convenient.

When I commented that she likely was seeking better opportunities through her relationship with a well-known football player, the men defended her tooth and nail. I was called jealous, petty, insecure and other fun terms.

The reason I am frustrated is not jealousy. I'm frustrated - and sometimes angry - that our society is one that gives preference to those who are more physically beautiful than those who have good character, strong work ethic, friendly personalities or generous hearts.

Despite a woman's efforts, abilities and talents, she may still be undervalued in American society, especially by males. I don't think I'm the only woman who feels this pressure, either.

I feel that despite my talent, smarts, education and hard work, I still don't reach the level of value in the eyes of most males that I would if I looked like a swimsuit model. Regardless of how hard I work, how many educational degrees I have, how much volunteer work I do or the fact that I can support myself and contribute to society, a woman who looks like Kate Upton will always rank higher on society's value scale.

It is more valuable in society to be physically beautiful (and maybe uneducated, shallow or selfish) than to be less attractive but of high moral integrity, sound character, humble, generous and hard-working.

You don't see the average male voicing his admiration for Michelle Tafoya, who is arguably a very attractive woman who is also smart, well-educated and successful. There is far more credit given for being "hot" or "sexy" - traits which are largely out of one's own control - rather than being smart, hard-working, well-educated, charitable, kind or humble.

Men may not completely overlook a hard-working, smart and talented woman who is modestly attractive, but it's plainly evident that the Playboy bunnies, the swimsuit models and the pageant girls are consistently elevated in society and often in the workplace, regardless of their character.

And when someone like me calls out others on this superficial and shallow thinking, the immediate response is just to label me "jealous" or "insecure" about my own appearance.

I realize there will always be women more physically beautiful than me, just like someone else's car will be faster or house will be bigger, etc.

But why does our society place so much more value on a person's physical beauty rather than his/her character, intelligence, work ethic or personality?

Furball Friday: Puppy takes huge dog for "walk"

Just too cute. Happy Friday!

Furball Friday: Buzzfeed provides 45 lovable, snuggly baby animals

I said "aww" at least 90 times while scrolling through Buzzfeed's 45 most lovable baby animal photos today. Thanks to our office intern who found it for me! So cute.